It's amazing what you find when you move...Not only a lot of dust, but stupid stuff you've kept over the years. This is not my first move in umpteen years so I don't know why I didn't discover these treasures before or maybe I did, but erased it from my memory.
Going through boxes that have been securely taped up so nothing would spill out in transportation, I have to open each one so I can find a new hiding place for this junk I decided to move. I opened up one box, and low and behold it was filled with old cookbooks that I haven't seen for years. Matter of fact, I forgot I had them! Where have they been all these years? Out in the garage stuffed in a corner under a work bench. So now you know, besides Flamingo's I collect old cookbooks. It's not unusual for me to buy up every one at a garage sale or a flea market, and then have Mr. Wonderful ask... what are you going to do with those? You know honey, put them in a box with the rest of them!
While going through the books, I find one with some old lined notebook paper sticking out. I open it up, and there is something that I must have hand written in my younger days...I think I was going to write my own cookbook! It's titled "Who in the Hell is Betty Crocker?" I must have done some thorough research because I had the whole bio on Betty down to a tee. Included was some of my favorite recipes like "no-fail hot dogs", "perfect toast", of course "good old fashion boiled water" Ya think back then I had a sense of humor? Or maybe I just didn't know how to cook!
Who knows, maybe I'll pick up where I left off someday, and add some new recipes like Beer Bread, Beer Brats, Beer Soup, and of course...How to make ice cold Beer! And the title might be, Don't You Wish You Thought Of This Sam Adams?
It's a warm and comforting feeling finding the past, but then it makes me wonder... Why did I move this crap?
Friday, August 31, 2007
Whew...It's Friday!
I can't believe it's Friday already, and a three day weekend to boot! Not sure what our plans are, but if I don't get on here and write over the weekend then be prepared for a long and boring post with probably tons of pictures on Tuesday.
Last night I got busted...yeah, Mr. Wonderful read my blog! He sat there doing the Ralph Krandem hand signals you know..."To the moon Alice!" And as I watched the expressions on his face he looked as if he were eating glass. I was hoping to see him crack a tiny smile while his eyes shifted seriously back and forth over my sentences. Just think on the bright side honey...I didn't post any risque pictures of you, which you know I have... :) The only time the corners of his mouth raised up ever so slightly was when he finished writing "his"comment. He sat back proud and tall as he shut his laptop on the counter... It wasn't so bad..was it? I think I have found the new meaning of Blogger Bash.
I don't usually talk on the phone with my 88 year old Mother because she is hearing impaired. She is very computer literate so we communicate via emails, but a few years ago we got her a TTY phone so in case of an emergency she could make or receive calls. Every morning, I write to her, and wait for her email in return. If I don't hear back from her, I'll get worried, but it ends up there is something wrong with her computer or ISP. Whew~
Thursday I wrote her and waited, but didn't get my normal reply. She called me and told me something was wrong, and that she couldn't get into the Internet explorer. I told her that I would call the ISP, and get it straightened out for her... probably the server was down or busy. No biggy! She said, in a very serious voice, I needed to talk to you anyway, it's really important. Okay Mom, go ahead...as I sit here thinking, oh no, what's wrong! She proceeds to tell me, oh you are never going to believe what I did... I sit here thinking to myself all the other things she has done in the past like put something down the disposal, and it clogged it up and flooded her kitchen. She says are you ready for this? Sure Mom...Go ahead! As I am shaking my head thinking what the heck is it now? She tells me she was shopping on HSN, and she bought a wig! That's not so bad...she was excited so that's a good thing~ She says I bought a blonde one, and I will look just like I did when I was young! Okay...That's great! Whew, it wasn't a disaster like I was thinking.
Yesterday the phone rings again, and it's Mom. She sounded upset to me as she was trying to explain.. I had to call you instead of writing because you are never going to believe what just happened to me today. Here we go again! What's up Mom? She says she was sitting there, and all of a sudden the neighbor dog started barking uncontrollably. How can you hear the dog Mom, you're deaf! Well, she saw the dogs mouth moving so she figured it was barking...okay, I'll give her credit for that one. Now she can read dog lips! She said there was all this commotion outside so she gathered up her oxygen tank, and headed for the door to see what's the matter, almost falling because of all the excitement. As she opened the door she saw this little package in the mailbox...Oh no, what could it be? I'm thinking someone left her a bomb in the mailbox...Her wig arrived! And that's what was so important to call me about? Yeah she says, it wasn't supposed to be here until the 6th of September! Whew~
It's nice that when you get older the littlest things excite you, and make you happy... Then I start singing to the tune of "when I'm Sixty- Four" by the Beatles changing the words as I go along... "when I get old and losing my hair" will you leave me yours?
I was outside in the garage yesterday unpacking and going through more boxes, and I hear a voice calling me. Was it because wearing a skirt and bending over? Oops! Like what are you trying to do... ruin the neighborhood? I quickly look to see who's there and it was the neighbors from next door. We had met them once when we first moved in, but haven't seen them since. It was the Mr. and Mrs. greeting me asking how we were doing. Well, it's a long slow process of moving, but we getting there. Yeah, moving sucks! We had a nice conversation, and I told them to feel free to stop over anytime for a cold beverage...They excepted the invitation, they parted, and I went back to my work. I took some stuff into the house, and when I returned outside there was this big Flamingo stuck in the grass with a note attached...Welcome to the neighborhood! It was from the Mr. and Mrs. from next door...Now is that sweet or what? I like the new neighbors!
The UPS man stops here almost everyday with packages for me...yeah, I love shopping! He said, in all the years I have been delivering to this address, I think you have gotten more deliveries in a month than the last people ever did in 16 years! I can't help it...I'm a buyoligist!
So, I have lots of things to do today because this weekend I am am taking off, and not doing a damn thing...why do they call it "Labor Day" when nobody works? You can bet that I won't be doing any labor... You all have a Great Weekend! Be safe and don't work!
Last night I got busted...yeah, Mr. Wonderful read my blog! He sat there doing the Ralph Krandem hand signals you know..."To the moon Alice!" And as I watched the expressions on his face he looked as if he were eating glass. I was hoping to see him crack a tiny smile while his eyes shifted seriously back and forth over my sentences. Just think on the bright side honey...I didn't post any risque pictures of you, which you know I have... :) The only time the corners of his mouth raised up ever so slightly was when he finished writing "his"comment. He sat back proud and tall as he shut his laptop on the counter... It wasn't so bad..was it? I think I have found the new meaning of Blogger Bash.
I don't usually talk on the phone with my 88 year old Mother because she is hearing impaired. She is very computer literate so we communicate via emails, but a few years ago we got her a TTY phone so in case of an emergency she could make or receive calls. Every morning, I write to her, and wait for her email in return. If I don't hear back from her, I'll get worried, but it ends up there is something wrong with her computer or ISP. Whew~
Thursday I wrote her and waited, but didn't get my normal reply. She called me and told me something was wrong, and that she couldn't get into the Internet explorer. I told her that I would call the ISP, and get it straightened out for her... probably the server was down or busy. No biggy! She said, in a very serious voice, I needed to talk to you anyway, it's really important. Okay Mom, go ahead...as I sit here thinking, oh no, what's wrong! She proceeds to tell me, oh you are never going to believe what I did... I sit here thinking to myself all the other things she has done in the past like put something down the disposal, and it clogged it up and flooded her kitchen. She says are you ready for this? Sure Mom...Go ahead! As I am shaking my head thinking what the heck is it now? She tells me she was shopping on HSN, and she bought a wig! That's not so bad...she was excited so that's a good thing~ She says I bought a blonde one, and I will look just like I did when I was young! Okay...That's great! Whew, it wasn't a disaster like I was thinking.
Yesterday the phone rings again, and it's Mom. She sounded upset to me as she was trying to explain.. I had to call you instead of writing because you are never going to believe what just happened to me today. Here we go again! What's up Mom? She says she was sitting there, and all of a sudden the neighbor dog started barking uncontrollably. How can you hear the dog Mom, you're deaf! Well, she saw the dogs mouth moving so she figured it was barking...okay, I'll give her credit for that one. Now she can read dog lips! She said there was all this commotion outside so she gathered up her oxygen tank, and headed for the door to see what's the matter, almost falling because of all the excitement. As she opened the door she saw this little package in the mailbox...Oh no, what could it be? I'm thinking someone left her a bomb in the mailbox...Her wig arrived! And that's what was so important to call me about? Yeah she says, it wasn't supposed to be here until the 6th of September! Whew~
It's nice that when you get older the littlest things excite you, and make you happy... Then I start singing to the tune of "when I'm Sixty- Four" by the Beatles changing the words as I go along... "when I get old and losing my hair" will you leave me yours?
I was outside in the garage yesterday unpacking and going through more boxes, and I hear a voice calling me. Was it because wearing a skirt and bending over? Oops! Like what are you trying to do... ruin the neighborhood? I quickly look to see who's there and it was the neighbors from next door. We had met them once when we first moved in, but haven't seen them since. It was the Mr. and Mrs. greeting me asking how we were doing. Well, it's a long slow process of moving, but we getting there. Yeah, moving sucks! We had a nice conversation, and I told them to feel free to stop over anytime for a cold beverage...They excepted the invitation, they parted, and I went back to my work. I took some stuff into the house, and when I returned outside there was this big Flamingo stuck in the grass with a note attached...Welcome to the neighborhood! It was from the Mr. and Mrs. from next door...Now is that sweet or what? I like the new neighbors!
The UPS man stops here almost everyday with packages for me...yeah, I love shopping! He said, in all the years I have been delivering to this address, I think you have gotten more deliveries in a month than the last people ever did in 16 years! I can't help it...I'm a buyoligist!
So, I have lots of things to do today because this weekend I am am taking off, and not doing a damn thing...why do they call it "Labor Day" when nobody works? You can bet that I won't be doing any labor... You all have a Great Weekend! Be safe and don't work!
Pink Smooches and Flamingo Dreams~
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I need help...
I am definitely challenged when it comes to interior decorating! I like tacky, weird or anything out of the ordinary. If you couldn't figure it out by now my favorite color is PINK. So what goes good with PINK? White...I like white too.
When we bought this house I would have been perfectly happy purchasing the furniture that was here so I wouldn't have to figure out how I am going to decorate. I thought to myself, how hard can it be? Well, I found out after we moved in, and there isn't any furniture in here. I have every other room in the house under control except the living room. That room is the first room you see when you enter the foyer so I want elegant, inviting, charming, warm, comfy, and kind of modern...not tacky.
We went to furniture stores and looked, but I couldn't decide what I wanted. I finally bought an off white sofa and love seat just because I couldn't stand looking at the empty space. Then I run across an ad in the local paper, and there is this woman who willing to decorate for you! Now how sweet is that? I immediately called her, and she was willing to help me...she'll even go with me to help pick out furniture! She was giving me a lot of great ideas over the phone so I thought this is great, someone who knows what their doing, and will get it done for me. I want people to ooh and ahhh when they come in our house as if they were in some designer home. We ended that conversation with we'll talk again soon...
So, I am talking with her again last night, and set up an appointment to meet with her next week. Before we say our salutations she says, I think you should go with ORANGE and REDS ...those colors make a room pop! Well, my eyes just about popped right out of my head! I said, Um, yeah...and then she says BROWN draperies and shades...and I say... okay... in a weak tiny voice. So, she's all excited about our meeting next week, and I am not sure I should waste her time or mine. I'm thinking our living room is going to look like some blast from the past, like the 70's. Oh my... bean bag chairs perhaps, and plastic beads? I have a vision of The Brady Bunch House! I hang up the phone, and have this stunned look on my face as if someone told me I couldn't keep my Flamingo's. I turned to Mr. Wonderful and said, she wants to do the living room in orange and red...I'm not an orange and red kind of person...I'm pink or white! What have I done? He kindly says, just talk to her, and see what she says, BTW, how much does SHE charge? Gee, I never even thought of that...
I don't know what to do...I need help! Maybe I should just go with my Flock instinct and "Think Pink".
When we bought this house I would have been perfectly happy purchasing the furniture that was here so I wouldn't have to figure out how I am going to decorate. I thought to myself, how hard can it be? Well, I found out after we moved in, and there isn't any furniture in here. I have every other room in the house under control except the living room. That room is the first room you see when you enter the foyer so I want elegant, inviting, charming, warm, comfy, and kind of modern...not tacky.
We went to furniture stores and looked, but I couldn't decide what I wanted. I finally bought an off white sofa and love seat just because I couldn't stand looking at the empty space. Then I run across an ad in the local paper, and there is this woman who willing to decorate for you! Now how sweet is that? I immediately called her, and she was willing to help me...she'll even go with me to help pick out furniture! She was giving me a lot of great ideas over the phone so I thought this is great, someone who knows what their doing, and will get it done for me. I want people to ooh and ahhh when they come in our house as if they were in some designer home. We ended that conversation with we'll talk again soon...
So, I am talking with her again last night, and set up an appointment to meet with her next week. Before we say our salutations she says, I think you should go with ORANGE and REDS ...those colors make a room pop! Well, my eyes just about popped right out of my head! I said, Um, yeah...and then she says BROWN draperies and shades...and I say... okay... in a weak tiny voice. So, she's all excited about our meeting next week, and I am not sure I should waste her time or mine. I'm thinking our living room is going to look like some blast from the past, like the 70's. Oh my... bean bag chairs perhaps, and plastic beads? I have a vision of The Brady Bunch House! I hang up the phone, and have this stunned look on my face as if someone told me I couldn't keep my Flamingo's. I turned to Mr. Wonderful and said, she wants to do the living room in orange and red...I'm not an orange and red kind of person...I'm pink or white! What have I done? He kindly says, just talk to her, and see what she says, BTW, how much does SHE charge? Gee, I never even thought of that...
I don't know what to do...I need help! Maybe I should just go with my Flock instinct and "Think Pink".
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Are Criminals Going Vegetarian?
I can't believe no one blogged about this today...or did I miss some one? I say, this can only happen in Peoria...
Peorian reportedly beaten with cucumber, car keys
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
PEORIA - A Central Peoria man was hospitalized early Tuesday for a back injury allegedly inflicted by women armed with bricks, keys and a cucumber.
Ricky D. Dean, 45, and Sara E. Peterson, 22, also of Peoria, were driving in the 2700 block of Trewyn Avenue about 2 a.m. when three women yelled at them to stop their car.
When Dean pulled over, two of the three women, later determined to be Martella M. Brown, 19, and Nicole S. Bailey, 23, approached and started throwing bricks at the car, police said.
Dean got out of the car to confront the women, but continued to be battered by the them. One of them reached inside the car, stole the car keys and then used them to hit Dean, reports said.
As he was hit with the keys, the other woman struck him on the back with a cucumber.
The trio then got into Dean's car and drove away, with Peterson still inside.
Police stopped the car about 30 minutes later in the 3800 block of Southwest Adams Street, but Peterson was not in the car. She was located elsewhere in Harrison Homes uninjured.
Brown, 2718 N. Trewyn Ave., and Bailey, 2414 W. Malone St., were arrested on charges of aggravated battery. Brown also faces a charge of vehicular hijacking for the crime.
The third woman, whose name was not available, was not arrested because she did not partake in the brick-throwing and beating, police said.
Dean, who complained of back pain, was taken to Methodist Medical Center, treated and released.
Peorian reportedly beaten with cucumber, car keys
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
PEORIA - A Central Peoria man was hospitalized early Tuesday for a back injury allegedly inflicted by women armed with bricks, keys and a cucumber.
Ricky D. Dean, 45, and Sara E. Peterson, 22, also of Peoria, were driving in the 2700 block of Trewyn Avenue about 2 a.m. when three women yelled at them to stop their car.
When Dean pulled over, two of the three women, later determined to be Martella M. Brown, 19, and Nicole S. Bailey, 23, approached and started throwing bricks at the car, police said.
Dean got out of the car to confront the women, but continued to be battered by the them. One of them reached inside the car, stole the car keys and then used them to hit Dean, reports said.
As he was hit with the keys, the other woman struck him on the back with a cucumber.
The trio then got into Dean's car and drove away, with Peterson still inside.
Police stopped the car about 30 minutes later in the 3800 block of Southwest Adams Street, but Peterson was not in the car. She was located elsewhere in Harrison Homes uninjured.
Brown, 2718 N. Trewyn Ave., and Bailey, 2414 W. Malone St., were arrested on charges of aggravated battery. Brown also faces a charge of vehicular hijacking for the crime.
The third woman, whose name was not available, was not arrested because she did not partake in the brick-throwing and beating, police said.
Dean, who complained of back pain, was taken to Methodist Medical Center, treated and released.
Isn't Love Grand?
Whew~ Mr. Wonderful came home last night, and to the best of my knowledge he didn't read my blog...or did he? He complimented me on the yard, and how it looked...I like compliments... it's almost as good as telling me that the outfit I was wearing makes me look thin!
So we sit and have our usual "how was your day" conversation. He tells me how tired he is, and what a busy day at work it was... I told him, I'm tired...I think it's heat exhaustion... it was so darn hot out today! I told him everything I did...mowed the grass with the push mower, all the yard work, I even cleaned "his" garage, and he says out of the pink...do you want to learn how to drive the tractor? As I sit there with a scared look on my face, and this vision in my mind of me on the big boy I have to think to myself what do I say? Hey wait, let me go change out of designer clothes go git on my overalls? Sure... I want to learn how to drive a lawn tractor...Um, get me a beer... as I am humming again the tune to Green Acres! Can't get that song out of my head! Gee, I wonder why~
He then says, I'm not kidding...do you want me to show you how to drive it? I had to think about this one really long and hard, and have a couple more Miller's to get my courage up. I finally said, Sure honey.... Thinking I would use the reverse psychology because what man wants a woman to play with his new toy?
C'mon he says...I'll pull it out of the garage for you...oh my gosh, he's not kidding! He's really going to show me how to drive it! I'm scared half to death at this point, but of course not going to let him know that...Get me another beer!
Now I don't like to drive a car, let alone this thing that I am about to get on, not in. No seat belts, no air conditioning, no radio, no DVD player oh...but it has a drink holder! Perfect! I'm ready to rock and roll or um, mow...
So, Mr. Wonderful shows me everything there is to know about starting this bad boy up, and how to maneuver it. Here's the gas to make it go, here's the brake to make it stop. And here's the place were I set my beer...BTW honey, can you get me another one?
Now I am off and mowing like I am a pro! Proud to be an American on a mower! Look at me! Oh yeah, and then I see the neighbor out mowing his lawn, and I'm thinking...wanna race? hehe! Yippee! Forgetting here I am on this tractor, in a dress...what was he thinking? New neighbor must be a city folk? Oh well...
I only made a few trips around the yard, but it felt good...actually after I told Mr. Wonderful I liked the "vibration" I don't think he's going to let me mow the lawn because, hey... I'd mow everyday!
So we sit and have our usual "how was your day" conversation. He tells me how tired he is, and what a busy day at work it was... I told him, I'm tired...I think it's heat exhaustion... it was so darn hot out today! I told him everything I did...mowed the grass with the push mower, all the yard work, I even cleaned "his" garage, and he says out of the pink...do you want to learn how to drive the tractor? As I sit there with a scared look on my face, and this vision in my mind of me on the big boy I have to think to myself what do I say? Hey wait, let me go change out of designer clothes go git on my overalls? Sure... I want to learn how to drive a lawn tractor...Um, get me a beer... as I am humming again the tune to Green Acres! Can't get that song out of my head! Gee, I wonder why~
He then says, I'm not kidding...do you want me to show you how to drive it? I had to think about this one really long and hard, and have a couple more Miller's to get my courage up. I finally said, Sure honey.... Thinking I would use the reverse psychology because what man wants a woman to play with his new toy?
C'mon he says...I'll pull it out of the garage for you...oh my gosh, he's not kidding! He's really going to show me how to drive it! I'm scared half to death at this point, but of course not going to let him know that...Get me another beer!
Now I don't like to drive a car, let alone this thing that I am about to get on, not in. No seat belts, no air conditioning, no radio, no DVD player oh...but it has a drink holder! Perfect! I'm ready to rock and roll or um, mow...
So, Mr. Wonderful shows me everything there is to know about starting this bad boy up, and how to maneuver it. Here's the gas to make it go, here's the brake to make it stop. And here's the place were I set my beer...BTW honey, can you get me another one?
Now I am off and mowing like I am a pro! Proud to be an American on a mower! Look at me! Oh yeah, and then I see the neighbor out mowing his lawn, and I'm thinking...wanna race? hehe! Yippee! Forgetting here I am on this tractor, in a dress...what was he thinking? New neighbor must be a city folk? Oh well...
I only made a few trips around the yard, but it felt good...actually after I told Mr. Wonderful I liked the "vibration" I don't think he's going to let me mow the lawn because, hey... I'd mow everyday!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Pay Back...
Mr. Wonderful wakes me up this morning with the usual peck on the cheek, and lovingly asks what's on my agenda...After 15 minutes of listing all my chores for the day he asks so sweetly~Gee Honey, do you think you can do me a favor and mow where I couldn't get to this weekend? I said sure, but tell me exactly where you want me to mow. So tenderly he states, you know under the trees and around the side of the house where the moles are... Oh yeah, let ME mow where them dang varmints are!
He leaves for work, I do some cleaning inside, and then figure I better get outside, and mow before it gets up to 90 degrees. I get out the mower, look on the side of the garage...Hum, that's not done so I mow it. Around back of the garage, hum... that's not done so I mowed it. Then haul the push mower over to the two trees, mow it. Then around to the side of the house. For crying out loud, about an acre isn't mowed! WTF! All down hill no less, and then I still got to mow over the moles! It's already hot, no shade, I'm sweating like a pig thinking as I struggle with this little push mower, where the hell is his over sized friggin' monstrosity of a tractor that he calls His lawn mower? The grass is over grown, wet, and it's harder to mow than if it were only a week behind...what are you trying to do... get me to fit into that Slim Suit or KILL me? I know you saw the 85 year old lady out pushing her mower in the sweltering heat, but if you want me to live to see 80, hand over the keys to the big ass rider!
Oh yeah, and I didn't roll up the 200 feet of extension cord because I was too damn tired after weed whacking, and edging which by the way I found about two feet more of sidewalk under the over grown crab grass! And if you want me to whack around the whole yard, you better get me at least 3,000 feet of more cord because only ONE outside outlet works! I know that for a fact because I did the math after walking all over the damn place looking for one that does!
I have never sweat so much in my whole entire life...not even during really good sex! Matter of fact, I don't think I'm gonna pee for a month because I don't have any fluids left inside of me! This is worse than a hot flash nightmare! BTW...Did anyone see me mowing or doing yard work? Because I couldn't see you due to the fact that the sweat was pouring into my eyes! My clothes drenched, my hair sopping wet, and oh yeah, I was stinking to high heaven!
BTW, Honey... I wore your underwear today, and put them back in your drawer so you will have to figure out which ones I wore! :)
Oh, and before I forget...wanna know what's on my agenda for tomorrow? I'm going to be waiting for the hot tub I ordered today to be delivered...
So now I know why you left the hedge trimmers over at the other house...afraid I would give you a haircut while you're sleeping tonight?
OooooKaaaay~ Here you go...
He leaves for work, I do some cleaning inside, and then figure I better get outside, and mow before it gets up to 90 degrees. I get out the mower, look on the side of the garage...Hum, that's not done so I mow it. Around back of the garage, hum... that's not done so I mowed it. Then haul the push mower over to the two trees, mow it. Then around to the side of the house. For crying out loud, about an acre isn't mowed! WTF! All down hill no less, and then I still got to mow over the moles! It's already hot, no shade, I'm sweating like a pig thinking as I struggle with this little push mower, where the hell is his over sized friggin' monstrosity of a tractor that he calls His lawn mower? The grass is over grown, wet, and it's harder to mow than if it were only a week behind...what are you trying to do... get me to fit into that Slim Suit or KILL me? I know you saw the 85 year old lady out pushing her mower in the sweltering heat, but if you want me to live to see 80, hand over the keys to the big ass rider!
Oh yeah, and I didn't roll up the 200 feet of extension cord because I was too damn tired after weed whacking, and edging which by the way I found about two feet more of sidewalk under the over grown crab grass! And if you want me to whack around the whole yard, you better get me at least 3,000 feet of more cord because only ONE outside outlet works! I know that for a fact because I did the math after walking all over the damn place looking for one that does!
I have never sweat so much in my whole entire life...not even during really good sex! Matter of fact, I don't think I'm gonna pee for a month because I don't have any fluids left inside of me! This is worse than a hot flash nightmare! BTW...Did anyone see me mowing or doing yard work? Because I couldn't see you due to the fact that the sweat was pouring into my eyes! My clothes drenched, my hair sopping wet, and oh yeah, I was stinking to high heaven!
BTW, Honey... I wore your underwear today, and put them back in your drawer so you will have to figure out which ones I wore! :)
Oh, and before I forget...wanna know what's on my agenda for tomorrow? I'm going to be waiting for the hot tub I ordered today to be delivered...
So now I know why you left the hedge trimmers over at the other house...afraid I would give you a haircut while you're sleeping tonight?
I am so exhausted then I start to do my thinking... I am going to post a classified: Needed... ASAP! Someone to teach my husband how to finish something after he starts it. Experience necessary!
There's old saying's... a woman scorned...and pay back's a bitch...Well, this won's for you Mister Wundaful for axing me to mow da larn, editing my gramar, puntuation, speling, and being so critical on my blog posts...It's MY blog and I can dew it any ways I wunt. In udder wurds, I can right it anyways I wunt and have my periods or coma's were eye wanna put em. Don't threten me cuz I know a good lawler!OooooKaaaay~ Here you go...
Is these burgers... To,Too, or Two well done?
I Love You! {{{{smooch}}}}
The "Slim" Suit
That's right Flamingal's...they make such a thing! Now if you ever had to experience the pain of having to buy a swim suit past the age of 40, it's more depressing than anything I can even think of, and you all know, I think a lot!
I have looked through catalogs, online, offline, in stores, etc., and I can't find one suit that suits me or should I say...my over the hill body. I am to old for a itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini, I won't even dare to be seen in one of those bathing suits that look like a mini skirt, and what's a tankini? Every suit I looked at wasn't going to cover up my flaws like I was hoping. I need a miracle suit! Maybe like a body suit, you know like one big stocking that holds every thing in, and you get an instant suntan! Like pantyhose! Hmmmm....
So, first I thought I figured out what to do...I told Mr. Wonderful that he's gonna need to buy a new bathing suit. He says, I don't need one because I already have one... Not anymore! I'm wearing it! Yep, his trunks are long enough to cover up the cellulite and flab on my legs, built in undies, (now why don't women have those?) and they even have pockets to keep my inflatable flamingo coolie in! Slip into one of his dago Tee's, and I'm ready to take the plunge!
Then I run across this, and I'm sucked in...
Look and feel your beautiful best. This Slim suit is designed with a black-and-white pattern that slashes downwards towards the middle--creating diagonal lines that contour and control. The convertible straps can be worn straight or crossed in the back. Floating under wire and a shelf bra support and enhance the chest. Low-mid scoop back. Mid-cut leg openings. Fully lined.Thanks to a patented control inner lining, this Slim suit will take at least 1" off your waist and stomach, lift the buttocks at least 1/2", and help slim your hip line, and increase your bust size.
Oh my gosh! The next best thing next to my Flamingo collection...a suit that is gonna make me look thinner and increase my boobs without surgery! Lift my saggy butt! I couldn't wait to order this sweet thing, the miracle that I have been praying for, and charge over $100.00 on the old dusty VISA card...
It arrives and I can't wait to try it on! If I look as good as it says, I will wear this out in public! Okay, I'm exaggerating on that one, but I'm going to have an inch taken off my waist instantly, and well, you know...
So, I get out this suit that looks like it's a toddler's size, and think how in the hell am I gonna fit into that? Low and behold, there are directions how to get into this Slim Suit. It sounded easy, but there weren't any illustrations or pictures because they can't show you how IMPOSSIBLE it is! I follow the directions to the tee, squeeze my fat body into this tiny spandex garment, and after sweating off about 5 pounds, and exhausted I glance into the mirror to see how thin I look...Well, I looked like a stuffed sausage only bulging out of the casing! It was like I was trying to wear something I owned back in the 70's when I was thirty pounds lighter! I looked disgusting, and couldn't wait to try to get this thing off of me...and of course there isn't any directions how to do that...It should say, Get someone to cut it off you~ or~Wear it until you lose 30 pounds tubby!
So, I get out my old stretched out comfy one piece suit that I have had for years. The one with all the elastic that is so brittle it crackles as I pull it on... it fits! Maybe if I lose 50 pounds, the Slim Suit will fit, and then I'll look anorexic~
I think the Slim Suit is for "slim" people only! Either that or it didn't fit because it wasn't PINK!
I have looked through catalogs, online, offline, in stores, etc., and I can't find one suit that suits me or should I say...my over the hill body. I am to old for a itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini, I won't even dare to be seen in one of those bathing suits that look like a mini skirt, and what's a tankini? Every suit I looked at wasn't going to cover up my flaws like I was hoping. I need a miracle suit! Maybe like a body suit, you know like one big stocking that holds every thing in, and you get an instant suntan! Like pantyhose! Hmmmm....
So, first I thought I figured out what to do...I told Mr. Wonderful that he's gonna need to buy a new bathing suit. He says, I don't need one because I already have one... Not anymore! I'm wearing it! Yep, his trunks are long enough to cover up the cellulite and flab on my legs, built in undies, (now why don't women have those?) and they even have pockets to keep my inflatable flamingo coolie in! Slip into one of his dago Tee's, and I'm ready to take the plunge!
Then I run across this, and I'm sucked in...
Look and feel your beautiful best. This Slim suit is designed with a black-and-white pattern that slashes downwards towards the middle--creating diagonal lines that contour and control. The convertible straps can be worn straight or crossed in the back. Floating under wire and a shelf bra support and enhance the chest. Low-mid scoop back. Mid-cut leg openings. Fully lined.Thanks to a patented control inner lining, this Slim suit will take at least 1" off your waist and stomach, lift the buttocks at least 1/2", and help slim your hip line, and increase your bust size.
Oh my gosh! The next best thing next to my Flamingo collection...a suit that is gonna make me look thinner and increase my boobs without surgery! Lift my saggy butt! I couldn't wait to order this sweet thing, the miracle that I have been praying for, and charge over $100.00 on the old dusty VISA card...
It arrives and I can't wait to try it on! If I look as good as it says, I will wear this out in public! Okay, I'm exaggerating on that one, but I'm going to have an inch taken off my waist instantly, and well, you know...
So, I get out this suit that looks like it's a toddler's size, and think how in the hell am I gonna fit into that? Low and behold, there are directions how to get into this Slim Suit. It sounded easy, but there weren't any illustrations or pictures because they can't show you how IMPOSSIBLE it is! I follow the directions to the tee, squeeze my fat body into this tiny spandex garment, and after sweating off about 5 pounds, and exhausted I glance into the mirror to see how thin I look...Well, I looked like a stuffed sausage only bulging out of the casing! It was like I was trying to wear something I owned back in the 70's when I was thirty pounds lighter! I looked disgusting, and couldn't wait to try to get this thing off of me...and of course there isn't any directions how to do that...It should say, Get someone to cut it off you~ or~Wear it until you lose 30 pounds tubby!
So, I get out my old stretched out comfy one piece suit that I have had for years. The one with all the elastic that is so brittle it crackles as I pull it on... it fits! Maybe if I lose 50 pounds, the Slim Suit will fit, and then I'll look anorexic~
I think the Slim Suit is for "slim" people only! Either that or it didn't fit because it wasn't PINK!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beerholder
I think this picture explains it's self...
Something else we like to partake on the weekends is rest and relaxation, and with of course some refreshments... The past month we have been so busy with moving, and trying to get the other house ready, weekends have been needless to say... very hectic. This weekend we didn't have to worry because it's well, BoomDone! So we spent the whole day doing nothing strenuous except some 12 ounce curls! Ahhhh....Miller, take me away!
I just love my Flamingo coolies, and they really float!
Now how perfectly pink is that?
Chicken Choking
It's was Sunday, and I always try to cook a decent meal because during the week I just don't have the time or I am to tired to eat by the time Mr. Wonderful gets home. We will usually have something simple. Now on the weekends, it's a different story...
So, yesterday I go to the freezer, and pull out these humongous boneless, skinless chicken breast. I make up my favorite mesquite marinade, and soak the titties all day. By 6:00, they're ready to be grilled on the "George" while I mash my potatoes, and heat up the french cut string beans. In a matter of minutes our dinner is done and we are ready to sit down.
We sit down and eat, and it tasted so good, well...I think I was eating to fast and all of a sudden I start choking on a piece of chicken. It won't go down and it won't come up! Oh crap...now what do I do? I'm trying to hack this hunk of meat out of my throat, and here's Mr. Wonderful asking me.... uh, what? Uh, do you want me to like give you the "Heimlich" or what ever? And if you have ever been choking you know you can't say anything like... yeah honey, put your friggin' fork down, and come over here because you know, I don't do BLUE very good...it doesn't match my pink outfit! It felt like the minutes were passing by, and I'm thinking, how much time do I have before I pass out? After coughing, spitting food all over, and trying to get the dog away so he doesn't eat what I just hacked up, the piece of chicken comes flying out. And here's Mr. Wonderful asking me.... do you want me to do anything? Sure honey, can you pass the mashed potatoes? Duh, I think it's a little too late! You just wait until later, and I will remind you of me choking on my chicken,and I will suggest you go choke your own!
By the way Honey...Thanks for doing the dishes! :)
So, yesterday I go to the freezer, and pull out these humongous boneless, skinless chicken breast. I make up my favorite mesquite marinade, and soak the titties all day. By 6:00, they're ready to be grilled on the "George" while I mash my potatoes, and heat up the french cut string beans. In a matter of minutes our dinner is done and we are ready to sit down.
We sit down and eat, and it tasted so good, well...I think I was eating to fast and all of a sudden I start choking on a piece of chicken. It won't go down and it won't come up! Oh crap...now what do I do? I'm trying to hack this hunk of meat out of my throat, and here's Mr. Wonderful asking me.... uh, what? Uh, do you want me to like give you the "Heimlich" or what ever? And if you have ever been choking you know you can't say anything like... yeah honey, put your friggin' fork down, and come over here because you know, I don't do BLUE very good...it doesn't match my pink outfit! It felt like the minutes were passing by, and I'm thinking, how much time do I have before I pass out? After coughing, spitting food all over, and trying to get the dog away so he doesn't eat what I just hacked up, the piece of chicken comes flying out. And here's Mr. Wonderful asking me.... do you want me to do anything? Sure honey, can you pass the mashed potatoes? Duh, I think it's a little too late! You just wait until later, and I will remind you of me choking on my chicken,and I will suggest you go choke your own!
By the way Honey...Thanks for doing the dishes! :)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
BoomDone!
Yep, that's right...It's their motto...MANN MAID'S!
Now, I always thought that Mr. Wonderful and I were good housekeepers, yet not clean freaks, but neat and organized...that is, until we moved! OMG! I thought, how did we live in this filth? You know the dust bunnies that hide behind the huge furniture that you never move because your afraid you injure a nad or pull something that would feel like you got run over by a Mac truck!
I blame my partial inadequate cleaning ability's to a torn knee ligament back in December that forced me to use a walker and crutches, and then in March, I broke my foot and was in a cast for 8 weeks, but for crying out loud... this is the end of AUGUST! I can't use my lame excuses anymore....Shuddup and quit yur bitchin'!
Okay, I can blame the fact that we bought a house, and I was to busy buying new Flamingo's for the new homestead...Hmmm...okay, I just got to damn busy to worry about the nooks and crannies, but here it is to haunt me! I am a slob!
So the other day I am on peoria.com forum and I find this post about needing a housekeeper really fast. Hey, I need one too because we really need to clean the old house, and get it listed real soon, and I don't have time to be at both places at once. I had just called Merry Maids, and they told me everything they didn't do...I felt like I was talking to myself! Hey, if I liked to do those things, I wouldn't be calling you! Plus, I hate it when someone tells you how much it's going cost before they have seen it! They were quoting prices like I lived in some pig pen. It's really not that bad! Or at least I don't think so but then again, I don't clean for a living! I asked if they could meet us on Saturday and right away they exclaimed... WE DON"T WORK ON SATURDAY'S! OooooKaaay! What about around 4:30 during the week? WE STOP WORKING AT 3:30! Ssswwweeeeeet! Okay, then you tell me when you can meet with us, and then I get put on hold for five minutes. Sitting here twiddling my thumbs because there wasn't any elevator music to listen to....a new person comes on the line and says, how 'bout 4:30 on Friday? Hmmmm....what happened? Did they change their hours because of me? Or did I not understand something in the previous conversation with the other person. I am not one to question weird things, I just shrug my shoulders and go on...so I said, that would be great.
Like I was saying, I saw this post and low and behold there was this guy who says hire Mann Maids...with I might add, a fabulous recommendation! At first I thought it was a joke but then realized he was serious! I told him I had to check with my hubby first because you know, c'mon, what husband is going to agree to have men clean house for their wife? They probably vision Fabio half naked, with little beads of sweat that make his tan body glisten like he pored a whole bottle of baby oil all over himself, and with a feather duster in those huge hands, in tight speedo's with every obvious bulge not left for your imagination, and her sitting there drooling, ooohing and aaahhing over his masculine ability to suck with the hoover vac ...oh, wait a minute, that's MY vision! Whew...I need a cold shower! Anyway, I tell Mr. Wonderful about Mann Maids and he says...Call them! Oh Yeah!
Yippee! I did exactly that and I am so glad I did! Mann Maids were more concerned on meeting my needs and customer satisfaction. Now isn't that what it's all about? They aren't concerned about money, it's all about making YOU happy!
I have a pet peeve about people saying they can do something, but you have to wait until it's convenient for them... If I wanted to wait, I would do it myself! Mann Maids said they could do it right away, matter of fact, we had them quote us the estimate, and they said they would start that very same night! Now that's service!
We had people coming over to see the house the next day who were potential buyers, and the house was so spic and span well, let me just tell you, I couldn't have done it better myself! Better yet, I didn't have to do it myself! They scrubbed every corner, square inch of the house, and even did the yard, patio and garage! OMG! Talk about feeling like you just died and gone to heaven...because we all know, heaven is clean...
I am just so ecstatic over their services I just had to let off some of my enthusiasm so Mr. Wonderful doesn't start pulling more of his hair out listening to me rave about them!
Not only do I love Flamingos...I love Mann Maids, and their excellent customer service! A big pink smooch to you guys!
Now, I always thought that Mr. Wonderful and I were good housekeepers, yet not clean freaks, but neat and organized...that is, until we moved! OMG! I thought, how did we live in this filth? You know the dust bunnies that hide behind the huge furniture that you never move because your afraid you injure a nad or pull something that would feel like you got run over by a Mac truck!
I blame my partial inadequate cleaning ability's to a torn knee ligament back in December that forced me to use a walker and crutches, and then in March, I broke my foot and was in a cast for 8 weeks, but for crying out loud... this is the end of AUGUST! I can't use my lame excuses anymore....Shuddup and quit yur bitchin'!
Okay, I can blame the fact that we bought a house, and I was to busy buying new Flamingo's for the new homestead...Hmmm...okay, I just got to damn busy to worry about the nooks and crannies, but here it is to haunt me! I am a slob!
So the other day I am on peoria.com forum and I find this post about needing a housekeeper really fast. Hey, I need one too because we really need to clean the old house, and get it listed real soon, and I don't have time to be at both places at once. I had just called Merry Maids, and they told me everything they didn't do...I felt like I was talking to myself! Hey, if I liked to do those things, I wouldn't be calling you! Plus, I hate it when someone tells you how much it's going cost before they have seen it! They were quoting prices like I lived in some pig pen. It's really not that bad! Or at least I don't think so but then again, I don't clean for a living! I asked if they could meet us on Saturday and right away they exclaimed... WE DON"T WORK ON SATURDAY'S! OooooKaaay! What about around 4:30 during the week? WE STOP WORKING AT 3:30! Ssswwweeeeeet! Okay, then you tell me when you can meet with us, and then I get put on hold for five minutes. Sitting here twiddling my thumbs because there wasn't any elevator music to listen to....a new person comes on the line and says, how 'bout 4:30 on Friday? Hmmmm....what happened? Did they change their hours because of me? Or did I not understand something in the previous conversation with the other person. I am not one to question weird things, I just shrug my shoulders and go on...so I said, that would be great.
Like I was saying, I saw this post and low and behold there was this guy who says hire Mann Maids...with I might add, a fabulous recommendation! At first I thought it was a joke but then realized he was serious! I told him I had to check with my hubby first because you know, c'mon, what husband is going to agree to have men clean house for their wife? They probably vision Fabio half naked, with little beads of sweat that make his tan body glisten like he pored a whole bottle of baby oil all over himself, and with a feather duster in those huge hands, in tight speedo's with every obvious bulge not left for your imagination, and her sitting there drooling, ooohing and aaahhing over his masculine ability to suck with the hoover vac ...oh, wait a minute, that's MY vision! Whew...I need a cold shower! Anyway, I tell Mr. Wonderful about Mann Maids and he says...Call them! Oh Yeah!
Yippee! I did exactly that and I am so glad I did! Mann Maids were more concerned on meeting my needs and customer satisfaction. Now isn't that what it's all about? They aren't concerned about money, it's all about making YOU happy!
I have a pet peeve about people saying they can do something, but you have to wait until it's convenient for them... If I wanted to wait, I would do it myself! Mann Maids said they could do it right away, matter of fact, we had them quote us the estimate, and they said they would start that very same night! Now that's service!
We had people coming over to see the house the next day who were potential buyers, and the house was so spic and span well, let me just tell you, I couldn't have done it better myself! Better yet, I didn't have to do it myself! They scrubbed every corner, square inch of the house, and even did the yard, patio and garage! OMG! Talk about feeling like you just died and gone to heaven...because we all know, heaven is clean...
I am just so ecstatic over their services I just had to let off some of my enthusiasm so Mr. Wonderful doesn't start pulling more of his hair out listening to me rave about them!
Not only do I love Flamingos...I love Mann Maids, and their excellent customer service! A big pink smooch to you guys!
Friday, August 24, 2007
I think...because I can...
I think people complain when we don't get any rain because when it does rain they think whining about it is gonna make it stop. No, I think it just makes the grass grow.
I think every time I try on clothes I am burning hundreds of calories so I have to try on everything in my closet.
Then, I think to myself, I have this skirt with purple flowers on it, and I don't like purple...what was I thinking when I bought it? I think I need to buy a purple blouse now!
I think there are to many angry people who get angry over the littlest things...why? I think because they are just angry people. Get over it! Ya think?
I think the people who write directions or instructions don't think before they write them.
I used to think that a rabbit's foot was lucky, but then realized the rabbit wasn't so lucky! Think about that!
I think shoes shrink in your closet after sitting there not being worn. Why don't they fit anymore? I don't think it's because my feet got bigger/fatter/flatter... You think you can get a foot reduction? My hubby thinks you can just cut off a couple of toes...I don't think so~
I think there are to many infomercials on TV late at night...I think they think you will buy something, thinking you are half asleep and not thinking. I think their wrong!
I think coffee tastes better with eggs. I think of all the times we go out for breakfast, and the coffee in the restaurant tastes better than I think I have ever tasted. I don't think it tastes as good with lunch or dinner. Beer I think tastes better, but I don't think I have ever had beer with eggs. Wait a minute, I think I have...tailgating at a Bears/Packer football game. It helps to think about things for a minute!
I think the hair grows faster on my legs in the summer than in the winter. You think it's because it's exposed to the air? Or maybe because in the winter, it's covered up, and I don't think about it so much. I think of what other people think when they see my legs not clean shaven, but then I think how come guys can go without shaving, and they have that five o' clock shadow, and I think it's okay... I'm not talking about their legs, but I think some guys do and I think that's okay too.
I think someone ought to invent a bed that makes its self. I think making the bed takes longer than it did to mess it up.
And while I'm thinking why don't they make disposable clothes like they make disposable everything else? I think I would spend less time doing laundry and more time shopping which I don't have to think about it very hard because shopping is one of my favorite past times!
Now that think about it, I think they do have disposable clothes...oh wait, those are edible...what was I thinking!
And why do people have different sayings like, I think I'll go pinch a loaf...I always have to think about that one for a minute...who pinches loaves? And why would you want to? Then it dawns on me after thinking about it a while and they aren't really pinching bread.
I think the color pink looks good on everybody! Even men... although I don't think my husband would be caught dead wearing "pink". But then if you think about it, how would he know especially if he's dead? And who'd catch him? Now that's something to think about...
I think every time I try on clothes I am burning hundreds of calories so I have to try on everything in my closet.
Then, I think to myself, I have this skirt with purple flowers on it, and I don't like purple...what was I thinking when I bought it? I think I need to buy a purple blouse now!
I think there are to many angry people who get angry over the littlest things...why? I think because they are just angry people. Get over it! Ya think?
I think the people who write directions or instructions don't think before they write them.
I used to think that a rabbit's foot was lucky, but then realized the rabbit wasn't so lucky! Think about that!
I think shoes shrink in your closet after sitting there not being worn. Why don't they fit anymore? I don't think it's because my feet got bigger/fatter/flatter... You think you can get a foot reduction? My hubby thinks you can just cut off a couple of toes...I don't think so~
I think there are to many infomercials on TV late at night...I think they think you will buy something, thinking you are half asleep and not thinking. I think their wrong!
I think coffee tastes better with eggs. I think of all the times we go out for breakfast, and the coffee in the restaurant tastes better than I think I have ever tasted. I don't think it tastes as good with lunch or dinner. Beer I think tastes better, but I don't think I have ever had beer with eggs. Wait a minute, I think I have...tailgating at a Bears/Packer football game. It helps to think about things for a minute!
I think the hair grows faster on my legs in the summer than in the winter. You think it's because it's exposed to the air? Or maybe because in the winter, it's covered up, and I don't think about it so much. I think of what other people think when they see my legs not clean shaven, but then I think how come guys can go without shaving, and they have that five o' clock shadow, and I think it's okay... I'm not talking about their legs, but I think some guys do and I think that's okay too.
I think someone ought to invent a bed that makes its self. I think making the bed takes longer than it did to mess it up.
And while I'm thinking why don't they make disposable clothes like they make disposable everything else? I think I would spend less time doing laundry and more time shopping which I don't have to think about it very hard because shopping is one of my favorite past times!
Now that think about it, I think they do have disposable clothes...oh wait, those are edible...what was I thinking!
And why do people have different sayings like, I think I'll go pinch a loaf...I always have to think about that one for a minute...who pinches loaves? And why would you want to? Then it dawns on me after thinking about it a while and they aren't really pinching bread.
I think the color pink looks good on everybody! Even men... although I don't think my husband would be caught dead wearing "pink". But then if you think about it, how would he know especially if he's dead? And who'd catch him? Now that's something to think about...
I think thinking rubs off on people because last weekend when my husband and I were out shopping he saw a car parked in a handicap parking spot, and said: I don't think cars that have flames painted on them should be allowed to park in the handicap parking area. I think anyone can park there as long as their handicapped.
I think I have done enough thinking for the day, although I am always thinking...and will probably think of something else after I post this.
What do you think?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
It's a Dog's Life...
I swear...my next life I am coming back as a "dog"! Not just any dog, I wanna be "our" dog!
What a life...I have been up since 5:30 this morning doing my "chores" while he's snoring away, and yes, he does snore! I have cleaned the house, started laundry, gone out and pulled weeds, done the five S's, had about 5 cups of coffee, hiked down the driveway and got the newspaper, planned my dinner for tonight, greeted the electrician, and now the last thing to do is make the bed. That is after the big boy decides to get up! I look at him sleeping so soundly and think, gee, I wish I could sleep late, but I have to many things to do around here. Oh yeah and the one real important thing is blogging about my dog...
Just to let you know how sound he's sleeping...I took four pictures of him with the flash going, and beeping, and nothing woke him up! Oh gee, I forgot, he was up late last night watching the Cubs! Poor guy is exhausted!
You see that spot on the side which would be his back? That's how much room I get in our king size bed! If I want more room, I have to spoon with the dog.
And that's his very special blankie...it's so soft and yes, it's pink, but I think dogs are color blind so it doesn't matter to him. And he has his very own micro fiber pillow with a soft fleece cover. He's laying on my new Velux blanket that I just got two weeks ago, and have washed five times because of dog hair! What was I thinking when I bought "champagne" it's not white, but now I think I should have bought brown, but it's so not me...
What a life...I have been up since 5:30 this morning doing my "chores" while he's snoring away, and yes, he does snore! I have cleaned the house, started laundry, gone out and pulled weeds, done the five S's, had about 5 cups of coffee, hiked down the driveway and got the newspaper, planned my dinner for tonight, greeted the electrician, and now the last thing to do is make the bed. That is after the big boy decides to get up! I look at him sleeping so soundly and think, gee, I wish I could sleep late, but I have to many things to do around here. Oh yeah and the one real important thing is blogging about my dog...
Just to let you know how sound he's sleeping...I took four pictures of him with the flash going, and beeping, and nothing woke him up! Oh gee, I forgot, he was up late last night watching the Cubs! Poor guy is exhausted!
You see that spot on the side which would be his back? That's how much room I get in our king size bed! If I want more room, I have to spoon with the dog.
And that's his very special blankie...it's so soft and yes, it's pink, but I think dogs are color blind so it doesn't matter to him. And he has his very own micro fiber pillow with a soft fleece cover. He's laying on my new Velux blanket that I just got two weeks ago, and have washed five times because of dog hair! What was I thinking when I bought "champagne" it's not white, but now I think I should have bought brown, but it's so not me...Oh...it's almost 9:30 and the pooch is up! I better hurry and go make the bed before he decides to go back to bed... Then it's time to make his "special" breakfast...I wanna be a dog, my dog!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Meet The Neighbors
Here I am, inside because it is hotter than hell outside, like about 100 degrees, and the humidity has to be over 200%. You walk outside, and you don't have to do anything, and your sweating pools of salty water.
So, I am looking out the window as I am washing dishes in the sink, yes washing dishes by hand...The new house does have a dishwasher, but in the month we have been here I haven't used it once. My husband asked me why not, and I told him I didn't want to get it dirty! He said, G'night Gracie...whatever!
Back to me at the window, I was just looking...not snooping, I swear, and I see my 85 year old neighbors across the street out in the sweltering heat in the middle of the afternoon (2:30 to be exact). HE was mowing with his lawn tractor and SHE was pushing a hand mower around the trees. For crying out loud, they are OLD! She was out there in her house coat, yeah like my old granny used to wear, and he was dressed as if it were winter! I couldn't believe my eyes...the first thing I thought of is... gee, I hope my hubby doesn't come home and see that, he'll make me go out there and push the mower! Then the second thing I thought of is... I can't even walk out to get the newspaper, it's so friggin hot! What the hell...they're gonna kill themselves, possibly a double suicide!
I hope they didn't see me, (like I'm invisible) but I ran and got my camera because this is a real Kodak moment. Now I don't have a fancy dancy camera as of yet, I am still working on that with Mr. Wonderful, but I took the photo without a zoom lens, and hope that you can see the little white dot that is Mrs. Whatthefuckareyounutz, and a little green dot is Mr. Whathefuckareyoudoinginthatheat.
I need a cold beer just thinking about them!
Now I wonder if I should have been neighborly and offered them a frosty stein of Milk of Magnesia.
So, I am looking out the window as I am washing dishes in the sink, yes washing dishes by hand...The new house does have a dishwasher, but in the month we have been here I haven't used it once. My husband asked me why not, and I told him I didn't want to get it dirty! He said, G'night Gracie...whatever!
Back to me at the window, I was just looking...not snooping, I swear, and I see my 85 year old neighbors across the street out in the sweltering heat in the middle of the afternoon (2:30 to be exact). HE was mowing with his lawn tractor and SHE was pushing a hand mower around the trees. For crying out loud, they are OLD! She was out there in her house coat, yeah like my old granny used to wear, and he was dressed as if it were winter! I couldn't believe my eyes...the first thing I thought of is... gee, I hope my hubby doesn't come home and see that, he'll make me go out there and push the mower! Then the second thing I thought of is... I can't even walk out to get the newspaper, it's so friggin hot! What the hell...they're gonna kill themselves, possibly a double suicide!
I hope they didn't see me, (like I'm invisible) but I ran and got my camera because this is a real Kodak moment. Now I don't have a fancy dancy camera as of yet, I am still working on that with Mr. Wonderful, but I took the photo without a zoom lens, and hope that you can see the little white dot that is Mrs. Whatthefuckareyounutz, and a little green dot is Mr. Whathefuckareyoudoinginthatheat.
I need a cold beer just thinking about them!
Now I wonder if I should have been neighborly and offered them a frosty stein of Milk of Magnesia.
Hey Mom...Wanna move in with us? I got a job for you!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
It's a Hummer!
We just got this new humming bird feeder that attaches to the window with a little suction cup, and today I saw my first hummer... It's not a Flamingo, but what the heck...it's a bird!
Fat Tuesday
I got up this morning, like I always do and get on the scale before I have had any coffee, and after I have, well...I won't go into detail, but I am sure you can guess. I don't know... maybe I am a glutton for punishment because every day the numbers on the damn scale never seems to go down... even if I starve myself!
This morning, I got on the old health o meter digital and a message pops up...it says, "LO". Was it telling me my weight was low? Or maybe my eyeballs weren't focused and it said "HO" like, get on and off fast three times and it's laughing at me...Ho Ho Ho...or maybe I have reached the weight of Santa? Or maybe it said "MO" like I gained mo' weight? Who knows with these new digital inventions.
I got out my pink peepers, and flipped the scale over to read the trouble shooter guide on the back. Oh... "LO" means "low battery" (I knew that) so I proceed to read on...
Battery Installation
1. Make sure you can obtain a 9-volt Alkaline battery...like they are hard to come by? I went to the "battery drawer" and obtained a 9-volt battery. Step one done...
2. Turn scale over and remove battery holder by pulling back and lifting the tab... I turn the scale over thinking I am reading the under side of the scale so I flip it over again and I find nothing...I flip it over again, and there it is on the same side as the instructions that told me to turn it over...confusing? Yes, when you haven't had any coffee yet, and not quite awake! So, I find the battery holder and remove it. Step two done...
3.Place battery (see diagram on battery holder) making certain that the + and - terminals are positions correctly...Now, if anyone has ever installed a 9-volt battery, there isn't any way you can install it wrong! Step three done...
4. Remove battery holder...And then what do I do? Why would I remove it? Don't I just stuff the battery back in and close the cover? Who writes these directions? Step four done...
Then it goes into steps for Scale Use...like I don't know HOW to use the scale???
Last at the end there's a big warning...
CAUTION: STEPPING ON THE SCALE BEFORE ZERO APPEARS CAN CAUSE INCORRECT WEIGHT READING! At least it's not hazardous to my health, and the Surgeon General didn't write it, but then I think, well crap, maybe that's what I have been doing wrong all this time! I might weigh less after all!
I carry the scale back into the bathroom, place it on a level spot on the tile, strip down nekkad, hold my breath and close my eyes as I mount the health o meter. I wait a couple seconds, open my eyes and low and behold, I am five pounds heavier!
Gonna go have my coffee then I'm puttin' back in the old battery!
This morning, I got on the old health o meter digital and a message pops up...it says, "LO". Was it telling me my weight was low? Or maybe my eyeballs weren't focused and it said "HO" like, get on and off fast three times and it's laughing at me...Ho Ho Ho...or maybe I have reached the weight of Santa? Or maybe it said "MO" like I gained mo' weight? Who knows with these new digital inventions.
I got out my pink peepers, and flipped the scale over to read the trouble shooter guide on the back. Oh... "LO" means "low battery" (I knew that) so I proceed to read on...
Battery Installation
1. Make sure you can obtain a 9-volt Alkaline battery...like they are hard to come by? I went to the "battery drawer" and obtained a 9-volt battery. Step one done...
2. Turn scale over and remove battery holder by pulling back and lifting the tab... I turn the scale over thinking I am reading the under side of the scale so I flip it over again and I find nothing...I flip it over again, and there it is on the same side as the instructions that told me to turn it over...confusing? Yes, when you haven't had any coffee yet, and not quite awake! So, I find the battery holder and remove it. Step two done...
3.Place battery (see diagram on battery holder) making certain that the + and - terminals are positions correctly...Now, if anyone has ever installed a 9-volt battery, there isn't any way you can install it wrong! Step three done...
4. Remove battery holder...And then what do I do? Why would I remove it? Don't I just stuff the battery back in and close the cover? Who writes these directions? Step four done...
Then it goes into steps for Scale Use...like I don't know HOW to use the scale???
Last at the end there's a big warning...
CAUTION: STEPPING ON THE SCALE BEFORE ZERO APPEARS CAN CAUSE INCORRECT WEIGHT READING! At least it's not hazardous to my health, and the Surgeon General didn't write it, but then I think, well crap, maybe that's what I have been doing wrong all this time! I might weigh less after all!
I carry the scale back into the bathroom, place it on a level spot on the tile, strip down nekkad, hold my breath and close my eyes as I mount the health o meter. I wait a couple seconds, open my eyes and low and behold, I am five pounds heavier!
Gonna go have my coffee then I'm puttin' back in the old battery!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Walls That Talked...
We just recently moved from a house that was built in the early 1900's which we dearly loved. The house has been well maintained over the years by previous owners including ourselves, and restored and kept as original as possible. I have always been interested in the history of the house, and went over to the library as well as the library at Bradley University to see if I could find some tidbits of information. Unfortunately, I could never find anything out, but was able to get some background from long time neighbors. You just can't help but think about what the past in that old house was like, who lived there, who famous visited or if there was some secret hiding place with some treasure...like the TV show, "If Walls Could Talk".
Yesterday while we packing up the last of our belongings, I noticed people standing outside in front admiring our old house. One guy was taking pictures! I stepped out onto the porch and struck up a conversation with the nice fellows. They introduced themselves to me, and then shared a story about their childhood... they grew up in the house! Their family bought the house in 1953 and lived there until the early 70's. I immediately asked my numerous questions that have kept me wondering. The guys were brothers, probably around 50 years young or so, and they proceeded to tell me stories... nothing historical, but they were great memories.
I told them that we were moving out, but they were more than welcome to come in and see the house, just pardon my dust!
As they entered their memories were brought back to life... They were both so excited, and as they looked around they would tell their little history behind every nook and cranny. Robert remembered where he split his head open on the french doors, and he still has the scar, and Steve remembered the telephone that once sat on the built-in buffet in the dining room. The basement where at one time was Robert's bedroom, and the neat hiding place behind the steps. Their father had his office downstairs, and they remembered bookcases after bookcases that lined the walls with books galore. His father was a professor at Bradley, and their Mother was an art teacher there as well.
When we got upstairs, the boys, or I should say "men" just stared with a blank expression as they looked into the sun room where they their Mother would spend hours painting... it was her favorite room. You could almost picture her sitting there in front of an easel with a pallet of paint in the brightly lit room. We stood there in silence, and Robert sadly said Mom passed away a few years ago. It brought tears to my eyes.
The laughter from Robert and Steve as they recalled every bit of nostalgia from the fights about who gets what bedroom, remembering the hiding places in the attic, playing in the backyard, and the garage where they once kept their bikes.
Steve's bedroom was empty, but he was so excited to see it, and it looked exactly the way he remembered it. He kindly asked if he could take photo's of the room, and I told him he could take as many as he wanted. He took pictures of every room in the house including one of the fireplace in the living room where they used to open presents on Christmas morning, the old built-in buffet and dining room where they used to have every meal as a family in, and his Mother's favorite painting room.
I have had very many people through my old house, but these were very special visitors. I felt bad that I couldn't extend an open invitation to them to come back and visit because we will soon be putting the house on the market to sell, but they were happy they could just have this opportunity to see it once again.
I know everyone is probably wondering why I would let strangers into my house let alone take pictures of the inside, but you see Steve is Autistic, and although he has a incredible memory of the house he once lived in, he just wanted more memories I guess on paper.
So, after all these years of wondering about this old house, meeting Robert and Steve was a treasure found that is priceless...it was like the walls finally talked to me!
Yesterday while we packing up the last of our belongings, I noticed people standing outside in front admiring our old house. One guy was taking pictures! I stepped out onto the porch and struck up a conversation with the nice fellows. They introduced themselves to me, and then shared a story about their childhood... they grew up in the house! Their family bought the house in 1953 and lived there until the early 70's. I immediately asked my numerous questions that have kept me wondering. The guys were brothers, probably around 50 years young or so, and they proceeded to tell me stories... nothing historical, but they were great memories.
I told them that we were moving out, but they were more than welcome to come in and see the house, just pardon my dust!
As they entered their memories were brought back to life... They were both so excited, and as they looked around they would tell their little history behind every nook and cranny. Robert remembered where he split his head open on the french doors, and he still has the scar, and Steve remembered the telephone that once sat on the built-in buffet in the dining room. The basement where at one time was Robert's bedroom, and the neat hiding place behind the steps. Their father had his office downstairs, and they remembered bookcases after bookcases that lined the walls with books galore. His father was a professor at Bradley, and their Mother was an art teacher there as well.
When we got upstairs, the boys, or I should say "men" just stared with a blank expression as they looked into the sun room where they their Mother would spend hours painting... it was her favorite room. You could almost picture her sitting there in front of an easel with a pallet of paint in the brightly lit room. We stood there in silence, and Robert sadly said Mom passed away a few years ago. It brought tears to my eyes.
The laughter from Robert and Steve as they recalled every bit of nostalgia from the fights about who gets what bedroom, remembering the hiding places in the attic, playing in the backyard, and the garage where they once kept their bikes.
Steve's bedroom was empty, but he was so excited to see it, and it looked exactly the way he remembered it. He kindly asked if he could take photo's of the room, and I told him he could take as many as he wanted. He took pictures of every room in the house including one of the fireplace in the living room where they used to open presents on Christmas morning, the old built-in buffet and dining room where they used to have every meal as a family in, and his Mother's favorite painting room.
I have had very many people through my old house, but these were very special visitors. I felt bad that I couldn't extend an open invitation to them to come back and visit because we will soon be putting the house on the market to sell, but they were happy they could just have this opportunity to see it once again.
I know everyone is probably wondering why I would let strangers into my house let alone take pictures of the inside, but you see Steve is Autistic, and although he has a incredible memory of the house he once lived in, he just wanted more memories I guess on paper.
So, after all these years of wondering about this old house, meeting Robert and Steve was a treasure found that is priceless...it was like the walls finally talked to me!
Friday, August 17, 2007
He said, She said...
Here's the tree with the poison ivy vine...
That came down...no problemo...
Here's the other tree AFTER they cut off the dead limb...
Here's the other tree AFTER they cut off the dead limb...
And then there's a knock at my door, it's "tree man"...He said: I'm sorry to tell you ma'am but I broke yur fence...
She said: What? How do you break a chain link fence?
He said: Well, I was bein' particularly careful, if ya know what I mean, and well, I cut the limb and it bounced right on yur fence and busted that there 25 foot pole... but I can fix it and it will look better than new...
She said: Now, how can that be, because the fence is new!
He did fix it and it does look like new, well kinda...except the little thingy's don't stand up like the other one's but only me and the fence man will ever know...I hope! 
He said: by the way ma'am...you got "Bag Worms!
She said: I beg your pardon?
He said: You know the worms that make a bag in yur trees...they sleep in the bags during the day and eat the leaves during the night...it's gotta come down...
She said: The fence looks real nice!
Dang Varmits!
As soon as we moved into the new house, we had a fence put up around part of the property to keep the pooch in and keep the other critters out. After the fence was completed I noticed a couple of dead limbs on trees and another tree was deader than a door nail near the fence and thought... gee, if we get a storm and that falls, it's gonna fall right on our new fence! So, I call the local tree climber and he comes out and estimates how much it's going to cost...I didn't have to hesitate because it was cheaper than what I paid the last guy in our old neighborhood to trim some branches off two trees!
So, the tree guy says, he's gonna haffta pull his truck 'round back cuz he won't be able to climb the one tree because it's loaded with poison ivy... Oooooh Kaaaay! We just told him to be very very careful because the well is over there and we don't want him to damage it with his big ass rig. He said, no problem as long as it didn't rain and the ground was soggy.
Wouldn't you know it, the day before he's supposed to be here, it rains so hubby and I go out and check over by the well and notice the ground is soggy...Oh boy, now what do we do? The hubster says, call a "well guy" to come out and check to see if it's leaking...Yeah, we're city folk, not country yet, so I said, okay honey, whatevar!
Tree guy comes out and I walk him over to the soft spot and told him I didn't think he ought to drive over this because, well, it's the well and we think it might have a leak and it's very soft, etc, etc. I point out where the soft spot is and the grass is not growing there....
He says, that's not wet, you got dang "VARMITS"! My eyebrows raise and I say, dang VARMITS? what kind of dang Varmits? (as I am backing up carefully) He says, you know, those kind of VARMITS, well, the ones that...well here you go ma'am...
Ya see them thar trails? Them dang VARMITS are underground diggin'. Oh my! So, now what do I do besides hum to myself the theme song to "Green Acres" Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue! He proceeds to tell me they are moles... And how do I get rid of them? Is there a "mole man" I can call? He says, you trap em' yourself. I was waiting to hear the rest of the story...uh, yeah, you trap em' and then git yurself a big kettle and cook em' up, they make a killer stew...oh Yuck!
So, the tree guy says, he's gonna haffta pull his truck 'round back cuz he won't be able to climb the one tree because it's loaded with poison ivy... Oooooh Kaaaay! We just told him to be very very careful because the well is over there and we don't want him to damage it with his big ass rig. He said, no problem as long as it didn't rain and the ground was soggy.
Wouldn't you know it, the day before he's supposed to be here, it rains so hubby and I go out and check over by the well and notice the ground is soggy...Oh boy, now what do we do? The hubster says, call a "well guy" to come out and check to see if it's leaking...Yeah, we're city folk, not country yet, so I said, okay honey, whatevar!
Tree guy comes out and I walk him over to the soft spot and told him I didn't think he ought to drive over this because, well, it's the well and we think it might have a leak and it's very soft, etc, etc. I point out where the soft spot is and the grass is not growing there....
He says, that's not wet, you got dang "VARMITS"! My eyebrows raise and I say, dang VARMITS? what kind of dang Varmits? (as I am backing up carefully) He says, you know, those kind of VARMITS, well, the ones that...well here you go ma'am... 
Ya see them thar trails? Them dang VARMITS are underground diggin'. Oh my! So, now what do I do besides hum to myself the theme song to "Green Acres" Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue! He proceeds to tell me they are moles... And how do I get rid of them? Is there a "mole man" I can call? He says, you trap em' yourself. I was waiting to hear the rest of the story...uh, yeah, you trap em' and then git yurself a big kettle and cook em' up, they make a killer stew...oh Yuck!Well, as long as the dang VARMITS don't bother me, I won't bother them... I don't think I like moles, unless they are Pink but I highly doubt it... I have never seen one and hope I never do!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Ribbit in Peace?
We now live out in the country and instead of hearing gunshots at night we hear the sound of nature. Frogs croaking, crickets chirping, and who knows what other critters are out there singing.
The other night I needed to take the garbage out and it's right outside the back door so I thought... I don't need to put on my Prada shoes because we now live in the country and I can go barefoot! Besides, the trash can is right off the back door within a short walking distance.
The dew on the porch was cool and soothing to my tender tooties...oh it was a good thing until I stepped on something that felt squishy and slimy...what the hell was that? Oh shit, I stepped on a frog! I didn't get a close look at it because I darted back into the house with all my left over energy...all I kept thinking was, I think I killed it! I couldn't look back. Stupid frog for not watching were I was going! Now I am wondering if I will get warts on the bottom of my foot, is it true or just an old wives tale? Needless to say, I immediately washed my feet and put on my spa slippers. ICK!
Last night, just around dusk, the pooch is looking out the back door and he starts to paw at the glass. Yeah, we call him cat/dog because he has the same characteristic's of a cat...So, I look and low and behold there is a little frog stuck to the glass with his suction cup feet. I set my mind at ease thinking, maybe that's the frog I stepped on the other night, oh good he's alright!
Today I am wearing a frog T-shirt instead of a Flamingo one. Yes...besides Flamingo's I love frogs!
Here's the little guy clung to the glass...I hope he's not trying to get in to get revenge on me!
The other night I needed to take the garbage out and it's right outside the back door so I thought... I don't need to put on my Prada shoes because we now live in the country and I can go barefoot! Besides, the trash can is right off the back door within a short walking distance.
The dew on the porch was cool and soothing to my tender tooties...oh it was a good thing until I stepped on something that felt squishy and slimy...what the hell was that? Oh shit, I stepped on a frog! I didn't get a close look at it because I darted back into the house with all my left over energy...all I kept thinking was, I think I killed it! I couldn't look back. Stupid frog for not watching were I was going! Now I am wondering if I will get warts on the bottom of my foot, is it true or just an old wives tale? Needless to say, I immediately washed my feet and put on my spa slippers. ICK!
Last night, just around dusk, the pooch is looking out the back door and he starts to paw at the glass. Yeah, we call him cat/dog because he has the same characteristic's of a cat...So, I look and low and behold there is a little frog stuck to the glass with his suction cup feet. I set my mind at ease thinking, maybe that's the frog I stepped on the other night, oh good he's alright!
Today I am wearing a frog T-shirt instead of a Flamingo one. Yes...besides Flamingo's I love frogs!
Here's the little guy clung to the glass...I hope he's not trying to get in to get revenge on me!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Garlicky!
We just moooved into a new neighborhood...no, I didn't misspell "move", we moved out of the city, and into the country, and I mean country! Well, lets just say, the only gunshots we hear now are hunter's practicing their targets and them ain't people!
So, I was hiking out to the mailbox, and the church lady from across the street comes over to welcome me into the neighborhood. I don't know if she's really the church lady, but she reminds me of the one from SNL. Anyway, she is holding this head of cabbage that I swear was twice the size of a basketball that she just picked from her garden! She asked if I would like to have it, and of course being the new neighbor, I wanted to make a good impression so I accepted it. I thought what the hell am I gonna do with all this cabbage! Ahhh, coleslaw, OH GAS, and boiled cabbage with corn beef,OH MORE GAS, stuffed cabbage rolls, (enough gas to pollute the town of Brimfield!) Well, I could think of a million things to cook!
So, I made coleslaw, lots of coleslaw! (lots of gas) I am busier than a one armed paper hanger trying to unpack boxes and set up house keeping, so no time to make stuffed cabbage rolls, then I remember everyone talking about "cabbage soup". Yes, the cabbage soup that's suppose to help you lose weight, and I thought, I could stand to lose a few pounds...really more than that after seeing recent pictures of me at the cheeseburgerweddingpalooza.
I have never made cabbage soup and didn't even know where to start...So I go into my kitchen cabinet and see all these cans of Swanson's roasted garlic chicken broth that I just bought, and think to myself, this might make a good soup base, although Chef Kev would probably be getting the willy's of the thought of canned chicken broth!
The first can I opened smelled of garlic and even had real little chunks, so I opened two more cans, sliced up the cabbage and put it in the microwave to cook...Oh yum! Actually the cabbage cooked down so I was able to use the rest of it up so no more cabbage. It is sooooo garlicky, and besides Flamingo's I love Garlic!
Off to fill up with some gas! (the cheap stuff) and hopefully lose some weight!
So, I was hiking out to the mailbox, and the church lady from across the street comes over to welcome me into the neighborhood. I don't know if she's really the church lady, but she reminds me of the one from SNL. Anyway, she is holding this head of cabbage that I swear was twice the size of a basketball that she just picked from her garden! She asked if I would like to have it, and of course being the new neighbor, I wanted to make a good impression so I accepted it. I thought what the hell am I gonna do with all this cabbage! Ahhh, coleslaw, OH GAS, and boiled cabbage with corn beef,OH MORE GAS, stuffed cabbage rolls, (enough gas to pollute the town of Brimfield!) Well, I could think of a million things to cook!
So, I made coleslaw, lots of coleslaw! (lots of gas) I am busier than a one armed paper hanger trying to unpack boxes and set up house keeping, so no time to make stuffed cabbage rolls, then I remember everyone talking about "cabbage soup". Yes, the cabbage soup that's suppose to help you lose weight, and I thought, I could stand to lose a few pounds...really more than that after seeing recent pictures of me at the cheeseburgerweddingpalooza.
I have never made cabbage soup and didn't even know where to start...So I go into my kitchen cabinet and see all these cans of Swanson's roasted garlic chicken broth that I just bought, and think to myself, this might make a good soup base, although Chef Kev would probably be getting the willy's of the thought of canned chicken broth!
The first can I opened smelled of garlic and even had real little chunks, so I opened two more cans, sliced up the cabbage and put it in the microwave to cook...Oh yum! Actually the cabbage cooked down so I was able to use the rest of it up so no more cabbage. It is sooooo garlicky, and besides Flamingo's I love Garlic!
Off to fill up with some gas! (the cheap stuff) and hopefully lose some weight!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
WTF?
So, here I am thinking of what next to "blog" about, and think to myself.. geez, I gave my Mom the link so she can read my posts. I better keep my potty mouth under control, but then it dawned on me... she has a potty mouth too!
Not to long ago she had some medical issues, and was admitted into the hospital. While in there she lost some weight not only from the hospital food, strict diet, but from water retention.
So, I am talking to her on the phone one day, and she says, I have lost so much fucking weight that none of my fucking clothes fit. They hang on me like fucking bags, and the ones that do fit are fucking ugly. I don't have fucking money to buy any more new fucking clothes, and I don't know what the fuck I am going to do! Even if I bought new clothes I don't know what fucking size I wear because I lost so much fucking weight! I calmly told her, no problem Mom, I will buy you new fucking clothes! It's not a big deal...what the fuck?
So, I ordered her some new clothes from her favorite shopping spot, QVC, and guess what... they fucking fit, and she fucking likes them! Now she has new fucking clothes and doesn't need to fucking worry about it any more!
Mom is 87 years young...
I Love You Mom! :)
Not to long ago she had some medical issues, and was admitted into the hospital. While in there she lost some weight not only from the hospital food, strict diet, but from water retention.
So, I am talking to her on the phone one day, and she says, I have lost so much fucking weight that none of my fucking clothes fit. They hang on me like fucking bags, and the ones that do fit are fucking ugly. I don't have fucking money to buy any more new fucking clothes, and I don't know what the fuck I am going to do! Even if I bought new clothes I don't know what fucking size I wear because I lost so much fucking weight! I calmly told her, no problem Mom, I will buy you new fucking clothes! It's not a big deal...what the fuck?
So, I ordered her some new clothes from her favorite shopping spot, QVC, and guess what... they fucking fit, and she fucking likes them! Now she has new fucking clothes and doesn't need to fucking worry about it any more!
Mom is 87 years young...
I Love You Mom! :)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Pink Monday...
It's better than a BLUE one!
You Flamingal's will like this one...
This summer I was shopping at a rummage sale, well actually I had volunteered to work it as a favor for my neighbor, and couldn't resist some of the good deals that people had donated. I ran across this little mail box and thought to myself, I could use this...
I think it had a price tag on it for a whole nickel and since the proceeds of the sale were going to charity, I paid a dollar for it...yeah, it's just the way I am. So, I brought it home and explained to the Hubby (Big Bird) that from now on if the flag is up that means he's got mail. So, I wrote a cutesy mushy love note and stuck it in there for him. It took him a while to figure out that he had mail but when he remembered, he was so happy! It's almost like being teenagers again, passing secret notes back and forth. I know you guys are probably thinking, WTF is wrong with her or "they probably aren't married" but I'm sentimental (senti-mental?) and we are married...
So this morning, I'm having a typical "Monday" and low and behold, the red flag is up on the mail box! I hurry to get "my" mail and inside is the cutest package with flamingo's on it! A little note attached that read: While I was in Border's I saw this and thought of you...Love You, yadda yadda yadda... So, this is what I got!
You Flamingal's will like this one...
This summer I was shopping at a rummage sale, well actually I had volunteered to work it as a favor for my neighbor, and couldn't resist some of the good deals that people had donated. I ran across this little mail box and thought to myself, I could use this...
So this morning, I'm having a typical "Monday" and low and behold, the red flag is up on the mail box! I hurry to get "my" mail and inside is the cutest package with flamingo's on it! A little note attached that read: While I was in Border's I saw this and thought of you...Love You, yadda yadda yadda... So, this is what I got!
How sweet and a perfect way to start a Monday....
Sorry Honey, I used your razor this morning to shave my legs....
Hope you are in the Pink today...you know I am!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I Love My Dog
Besides Flamingo's, I love our dog! We didn't just rescue him, we adopted him, and needless to say... he's spoiled. He has every toy in the universe and probably every healthy treat a dog could beg for.
While reading this mornings news I ran across this article,and thought do I get this for the pooch? He would so love a spa treatment... hey, so would I!
http://www.luxist.com/2007/08/04/the-ultimate-doggie-beauty-treatment-the-dog-o2-from-airpress/
While reading this mornings news I ran across this article,and thought do I get this for the pooch? He would so love a spa treatment... hey, so would I!
http://www.luxist.com/2007/08/04/the-ultimate-doggie-beauty-treatment-the-dog-o2-from-airpress/
Every dog must have his own toilet to drink out of... 
The Pooch
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I Think, so I am Pink...
I finally got up the pink nerve to start a blog... okay, so I got a lot of nerve but that's besides the point.
So, here I go...I am a little nervous (imagine that) but nothing that a pink cocktail won't help me get over. I've got my flamingos surrounding me to give me the pink strength to go on.
Here' today's adventure in Flamingo Land, just west of PeeeOria, yeah that's right, I betcha didn't know it existed...Okay, it's really Brimfield :) but I can make shit up because this is MY blog!
So, today, we are gettin' ready to head into town (sound like a real country girl eh?) and I haffta figure out what flamingo attire to wear. I go thru all my clothes and pick out an outfit I never thought I would be seen in public wearing. It was GREEN! I bought this lime green skirt, really tacky looking one months ago, (probably years but don't tell the hubby) and decided to wear it. Oh it has sequins sewn on and a weird paisley design on it. I wore a cream color top and green flip flops! What the heck was I thinking? I couldn't wait to get home and change into a comfy pink flamingo T-shirt.
While at the Brimfield Days I bought three new T-shirts...it was almost like they knew I needed them! BTW, if you have never been to Brimfield Days or Settler's Days as I think they call it, you really should...
So, I wasn't thinking really PINK today, but I will get back into the pink of things...today was all about "tacky"
Have A Flamingood Day!
So, here I go...I am a little nervous (imagine that) but nothing that a pink cocktail won't help me get over. I've got my flamingos surrounding me to give me the pink strength to go on.
Here' today's adventure in Flamingo Land, just west of PeeeOria, yeah that's right, I betcha didn't know it existed...Okay, it's really Brimfield :) but I can make shit up because this is MY blog!
So, today, we are gettin' ready to head into town (sound like a real country girl eh?) and I haffta figure out what flamingo attire to wear. I go thru all my clothes and pick out an outfit I never thought I would be seen in public wearing. It was GREEN! I bought this lime green skirt, really tacky looking one months ago, (probably years but don't tell the hubby) and decided to wear it. Oh it has sequins sewn on and a weird paisley design on it. I wore a cream color top and green flip flops! What the heck was I thinking? I couldn't wait to get home and change into a comfy pink flamingo T-shirt.
While at the Brimfield Days I bought three new T-shirts...it was almost like they knew I needed them! BTW, if you have never been to Brimfield Days or Settler's Days as I think they call it, you really should...
So, I wasn't thinking really PINK today, but I will get back into the pink of things...today was all about "tacky"
Have A Flamingood Day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
